Today has been a dark day. Unless a miracle happens, these clouds are here to stay. My heart is utterly broken - and that infuriates me. I am going through the stages of grief just perfectly so far: denial, depression, anger. The last stage is acceptance. I have not gotten there yet. My eyes have been swollen all day; constantly watery and red. You weren’t doing me a favor. All you’ve done is sabotage the one thing you could have depended on: your relationship with me. I never planned on leaving you. I have put up with your pessimism for this long because I thought we were ultimately on the same page. Turns out that I’m about five chapters ahead of you, and would I have ever found out? No.
I just wrote an entire paragraph of nothing but harsh words directed toward you, but ended up deleting it. I’m not going to give you the juicy satisfaction of knowing how disgusted I am with you and the things you’ve put me through. You want to push me away further? I dare you. I am so, so, so close to edge.
